Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Christus Victor, Stryper, and Martin Luther

I've been lecturing on the atonement of Christ for my high school theology class.  Today we went over the Christus Victor view of the atonement.  As a prelude to the discussion--and for some fun!--I had them listen to a bit of Stryper's "To Hell With the Devil."




I wasn't able, however, to get to one of my favorite Martin Luther quotations:

But if that is not enough for you,
you Devil,
I have also shit and pissed;
wipe your mouth on that
and take a hearty bite.*

* Heiko A. Oberman Luther: Man Between God and the Devil (Yale University Press, 1989), 107.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Covenantal Bacon

A few years ago a friend was working on writing a book.  Her husband asked at the time that I not mention the topic of the book since it was still in the research phase.  I really didn't know the topic of research so for fun I told him that I was sending out the following information whenever people asked me about the book (which no one ever did).

Title: Covenantal Bacon: Rethinking the Culinary Consequences of the New Covenant

Genre: Cookbook with theological analysis

Publisher's comments: The first book of its kind: a cookbook filled with recipes all revolving around bacon and insightful theological analysis accompanying every recipe.  Sure to spark debate and heat up ovens with the wonders of bacon.  A special appendix entitled "Carnitas in the Eschatological Kingdom" is sure to cause controversy as the author argues: (1) Yes, there will be animals in the eternal state and (2) we will eat them!  Mrs. L-- offers a fresh metaphysical perspective as to how God's people can enjoy animal flesh without causing pain and suffering.  She also offers a few pork-centered recipes she believes will be served in the eternal state so you can get a little "taste of heaven" now!

Backcover endorsements:

On my hit television show "Hell's Kitchen" I come off like a foul talking a--hole.  But after reading L--'s Covenantal Bacon I was almost persuaded to become a Christian!  Her joyous prose dances across the page with happy clarity and her recipes are simply amazing.  Who would have thought that bacon and raspberries could be wrapped in a tortilla and then deep fried.  And then to read the insightful commentary on this recipe and to see L-- discuss the perichoretic implications of such a dish--WOW!  If you only buy one cookbook this year make sure it's one of mine--but if you're able to get one after that be sure to pick up Covenantal Bacon.     
                    --Gordon Ramsey (celebrity chef and star of "Hell's Kitchen")

I'm a theologian and not a cook although I have been accused of "cooking up" some strange exegetical dishes in my writings.  Mrs. L--'s Covenantal Bacon is thoroughly researched and elegantly written.  I especially liked the recipe called "Promised Land Snack"--a sandwich of peanut butter, bacon, and cilantro.  Mrs. L-- did not fail to bring out the typological implications of this morsel in her commentary on this recipe--"Cilantro as a typological representation of Eden"--absolutely brilliant!  I have found all sorts of off-the-wall stuff in Scripture but Mrs. L--'s culinary exegesis "takes the cake" (or should I say, "brings home the bacon?!").  Three cheers for Covenantal Bacon!
                    --James Jordan (author of Pig Out? 25 Reasons Why Christians May Eat Pork)

Friday, December 28, 2012

Setting the Date for the Return of Christ

You would think people would learn...setting the date for the return of Jesus Christ is not a good idea.  The most recent entrant into this fool's errand is Tim Warner's The Time of the End.  


On a blog promoting this book (see HERE) I posted this comment:


In reference to being able to know the time of Christ's return a great and well-authenticated Bible scholar said this:

"It is evident that, in the minds of most Christians today, Matt. 24:36 is believed to prohibit anyone from being able to see the day of our Lord's return approaching.  Matt. 24:36 states that 'No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.'  In looking at this statement, you can easily see that it is impossible to know the exact day and hour of the Lord Jesus' return....However, this does not preclude or prevent the faithful from knowing the year, the month, and the week of the Lord's return."

This model biblical scholar further stressed the importance of his analysis by carefully corroborating his model of prediction with many others.  He wrote:

"We see many people of God coming up with the same time, some by dreams, some by visions, some by words from God, and others have calculated it out as we have.  Irregardless of how the information is obtained it all agrees that Jesus is coming September 1988.  Unlike the wrong date-setters of the past who were only single voices, this message has many voices."
 *Edgar C. Whisenant "88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be In  1988" pp. 2-3, 49
He who has ears, let him hear--Matthew 13.9

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Tax System Explained in Beer

This comes from Mr. Conservative.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like
this…
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing
The fifth would pay $1
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7
The eighth would pay $12
The ninth would pay $18
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59
So, that’s what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. “Since you
are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your
daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what
about the other six men ? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that
everyone would get his fair share?
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that
from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end
up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill
by a h higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the
tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he
suggested that each should now pay.
And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to
drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their
savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He
pointed to the tenth man,”but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too.
It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”
“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back, when I
got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get
anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks so the nine sat down
and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of
them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our
tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will
naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much,
attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In
fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat
friendlier.
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.  –   Professor of Economics.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Atheism Humor

Here is picture that was posted on Triablogue:

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Occupy Wall Street--Satirical but True


 There is some funny stuff out there about the Occupy Wall Street movement.  Stephen Colbert did a two part video that is hilarious.  It can actually be found on the official Occupy Wall Street web page HERE.

Also, below there is picture I came across over at Triablogue that is great--take a look!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

How Christians View Each Other

I saw this over at Parchment and Pen--thought it was humorous (and a little too true!)